{"id":20198,"date":"2026-04-11T16:32:14","date_gmt":"2026-04-11T16:32:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pirustinews.com\/?p=20198"},"modified":"2026-04-11T20:51:06","modified_gmt":"2026-04-11T20:51:06","slug":"biseda-qe-nuk-mbaroi-kurre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pirustinews.com\/?p=20198","title":{"rendered":"Biseda q\u00eb nuk mbaroi kurr\u00eb…."},"content":{"rendered":"

Nga Gladiola JORBUS, Suedi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ai ishte fotograf me profesion, por n\u00eb thelb ishte d\u00ebshmitar i bot\u00ebs. Kishte fotografuar n\u00eb savan\u00eb, mes drit\u00ebs s\u00eb ashp\u00ebr dhe heshtjes s\u00eb pafund, n\u00eb zona t\u00eb ndryshme klimatike ku natyra ndryshonte fytyr\u00eb si nj\u00eb njeri i lodhur<\/strong>, dhe n\u00eb luft\u00eb, aty ku \u00e7do imazh kishte pesh\u00ebn e nj\u00eb jete. Kishte par\u00eb urin\u00eb drejt e n\u00eb sy, frik\u00ebn n\u00eb duar q\u00eb dridheshin, shpres\u00ebn q\u00eb mbijetonte edhe n\u00ebn rr\u00ebnoja.<\/strong> Nuk fotografonte thjesht p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar, por p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbajtur mend. Dhe pik\u00ebrisht sepse kishte par\u00eb kaq shum\u00eb, dinte t\u00eb dallonte menj\u00ebher\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ishte e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, edhe kur ishte vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb, e padukshme, por e pamohueshme. Fliste disa gjuh\u00eb, por m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti zot\u00ebronte at\u00eb q\u00eb nuk m\u00ebsohet: gjuh\u00ebn e v\u00ebmendjes<\/strong>. Dinte si t\u00eb shihte, si t\u00eb ndalej n\u00eb \u00e7do detaj t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe ta shnd\u00ebrronte at\u00eb n\u00eb kryevep\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

Ajo ishte psikologe<\/strong>. E sakt\u00eb n\u00eb mendim, e matur n\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Dinte t\u00eb d\u00ebgjonte p\u00ebrtej asaj q\u00eb thuhej, t\u00eb interpretonte nuancat e heshtjes, t\u00eb lexonte frik\u00ebn q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit p\u00ebrpiqeshin t\u00eb fshihnin, edhe nga vetja. Kishte kaluar mjaftuesh\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u mashtruar leht\u00eb nga intensiteti i menj\u00ebhersh\u00ebm. E dinte q\u00eb ndjenjat e forta shpesh nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb thella, jan\u00eb thjesht t\u00eb pap\u00ebrpunuara.<\/strong> P\u00ebr vite me radh\u00eb kishte nd\u00ebrtuar nj\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00ebndrueshme, me kufij t\u00eb qart\u00eb, ku gjith\u00e7ka kishte vendin e vet dhe emocionet nuk e tejkalonin arsyen. Ishte m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb ishte ajo q\u00eb mban ekuilibrin, ajo q\u00eb nuk l\u00ebkundet. Por pik\u00ebrisht kjo e b\u00ebnte m\u00eb t\u00eb pambrojtur p\u00ebrball\u00eb di\u00e7kaje q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebrkonte t\u00eb kuptohej, vet\u00ebm t\u00eb ndihe<\/strong>j.<\/p>\n

T\u00eb dy t\u00eb martuar. T\u00eb dy t\u00eb rritur. T\u00eb dy\u2026 t\u00eb sigurt q\u00eb nuk kishin m\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb rrezikshme.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Ai i shkroi i pari. Filloi si loj\u00eb. Nj\u00eb mesazh i zgjuar. Pastaj nj\u00eb kompliment. Pastaj nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, m\u00eb i sakt\u00eb, m\u00eb i personalizuar. Love bombing…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ti nuk flet. Ti dep\u00ebrton.
Ka nj\u00eb qet\u00ebsi tek ty q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e zakonshme.
Nuk m\u00eb ndodh shpesh, t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj dik\u00eb dy her\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajo e kuptoi menj\u00ebher\u00eb. E kishte studiuar k\u00ebt\u00eb model. Intensitet i shpejt\u00eb, af\u00ebrsi e krijuar me fjal\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mos e b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb, – i shkroi.<\/strong>
\u00c7far\u00eb? – vazhdoi ai.<\/strong>
K\u00ebt\u00eb\u2026 q\u00eb duket m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa \u00ebsht\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ai nuk u t\u00ebrhoq, por nuk mbeti sip\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsor. Filloi t\u00eb fliste p\u00ebr libra n\u00eb gjuh\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme, p\u00ebr muzik\u00eb q\u00eb nuk d\u00ebgjohej leht\u00eb, p\u00ebr njer\u00ebz q\u00eb kishte fotografuar,<\/strong> p\u00ebr histori q\u00eb lexoheshin n\u00eb syt\u00eb e viktimave. I d\u00ebrgonte k\u00ebng\u00eb n\u00eb mesnat\u00eb, mendime t\u00eb pap\u00ebrfunduara, si t\u00eb donte t\u00eb vazhdonte nj\u00eb bised\u00eb q\u00eb nuk mbaronte kurr\u00eb. Nuk ishte vet\u00ebm v\u00ebmendje. Ishte cil\u00ebsi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dhe kjo e \u00e7armatosi. Ajo nuk donte, luftonte me veten, por filloi t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjej.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fillimisht me kujdes. Pastaj me interes<\/strong>. Pastaj me nj\u00eb lloj pritjeje q\u00eb nuk ia pranonte vetes.<\/p>\n

Dhe pa e kuptuar\u2026 u krijua di\u00e7ka. Jo trup. Jo takim. Jo prekje.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mori hov nj\u00eb lidhje q\u00eb jetonte vet\u00ebm dhe ekskluzivisht n\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Virtuale. Por e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

M\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb jetoheshin fizikisht.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bisedat e tyre nuk kishin as fillim e as fund. Kalonin nga filozofia te jeta e p\u00ebrditshme, nga ironia te rr\u00ebfimet e vogla intime q\u00eb nuk i thuhen askujt.<\/strong> Dhe bashk\u00eb me to\u2026 erdhi ankthi.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e ngusht\u00eb, si nj\u00eb frym\u00ebmarrje q\u00eb nuk plot\u00ebsohej kurr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ajo filloi ta ndjente gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shpesh.<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00eb pritjen e mesazhit.
N\u00eb boshll\u00ebkun kur ai nuk shkruante.<\/strong>
N\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn si dita i organizohej rreth nj\u00eb pranie q\u00eb nuk ekzistonte fizikisht.<\/p>\n

Kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb normale, – i tha nj\u00eb nat\u00eb.<\/strong>
Ndoshta sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, – u p\u00ebrgjigj ai.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dhe ai, q\u00eb kishte nisur si loj\u00eb\u2026 nuk po luante m\u00eb.<\/strong>
\nAi kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb.|
\nN\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb.<\/strong> T\u00eb pashmangshme.
\nN\u00eb dashuri.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajo u p\u00ebrpoq t\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqej.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nuk dua k\u00ebt\u00eb, –<\/strong> i tha.
As un\u00eb nuk doja, – tha ai. – Por ja ku jemi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ishte e pamundur t\u00eb takoheshin. Jo vet\u00ebm fizikisht, por moralisht mbi t\u00eb gjitha. \u00c7do hap drejt nj\u00ebri-tjetrit, do t\u00eb thoshte nj\u00eb rr\u00ebzim diku tjet\u00ebr.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dhe megjithat\u00eb\u2026 ata ishin aty.<\/strong><\/p>\n

T\u00eb lidhur. T\u00eb rob\u00ebruar. Nga di\u00e7ka q\u00eb nuk kishin prekur kurr\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pastaj, nj\u00eb nat\u00eb, ai i shkroi:<\/strong><\/p>\n

S\u2019t\u00eb shkruaj dot m\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Asnj\u00eb shpjegim. Asnj\u00eb sqarim. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb fjali.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mesazhet pushuan s\u00eb ekzistuari. Biseda mbeti pezull, e nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nj\u00eb mendimi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajo nuk e kuptoi menj\u00ebher\u00eb.<\/strong> Fillimisht mendoi se ai ishte i z\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim nd\u00ebrkontinental. Se do t\u00eb kthehej. Se ishte thjesht nj\u00eb vones\u00eb.<\/strong> Pastaj\u2026 e kuptoi.<\/p>\n

Heshtja ishte p\u00ebrgjigjja.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dhe ajo heshtje\u2026 peshonte m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se \u00e7do fjal\u00eb, se \u00e7do gur kalldr\u00ebmi, se \u00e7do parim a norn\u00eb socialel q\u00eb i ndante.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kaluan shum\u00eb or\u00eb. M\u00eb pas dit\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra. Kurse jav\u00ebt u b\u00ebn\u00eb muaj, t\u00eb send\u00ebrtuar n\u00eb vite. Plot pes\u00eb vite.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jeta vazhdoi qet\u00ebsisht. Por disa gj\u00ebra nuk mbyllen.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm mbeten pezull.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, pa asnj\u00eb paralajm\u00ebrim, ai i shkroi s\u00ebrish.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jo me shpjegime.<\/strong> Jo me justifikime.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm:<\/strong><\/p>\n

E mban mend at\u00eb q\u00eb po thoshe at\u00eb nat\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajo e lexoi.<\/p>\n

Dhe di\u00e7ka u kthye n\u00eb vend\u2026 si nj\u00eb der\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ishte mbyllur kurr\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajo nuk pyeti \u201cpse<\/strong>\u201d.
Nuk pyeti<\/strong> \u201cku ishe\u201d.<\/p>\n

U p\u00ebrgjigj:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Po. Nuk e p\u00ebrfundova kurr\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dhe biseda vazhdoi.<\/strong>
\nSi t\u00eb mos kishte kaluar asnj\u00eb dit\u00eb.<\/strong>
\nSi nj\u00eb fjali<\/strong> e l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebrgjysm\u00eb.
\nPa dram\u00eb.<\/strong> Pa shpjegime. Pa k\u00ebrkesa.
\nVet\u00ebm ajo ndjesia e njohur\u2026 e ndaluar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sepse mbi t\u00eb gjitha, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb ndodh, kur je i rritur, i pjekur, i sprovuar nga sfidat e jet\u00ebs.
\n<\/strong>Nuk bie n\u00eb dashuri si m\u00eb par\u00eb. Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shp\u00ebrthim.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb njohje.<\/strong> \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb qet\u00ebsi q\u00eb t\u00eb kap thell\u00eb. Nj\u00eb lidhje q\u00eb nuk ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb provoj\u00eb asgj\u00eb. Nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb zot\u00ebroj\u00eb, por t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb.
\n<\/strong>Ndoshta p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye\u2026 \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e rrezikshme.<\/strong> Sepse e kupton sakt\u00ebsisht \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb. Dhe megjithat\u00eb\u2026 nuk e shuan dot.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebm e shmang………..<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga Gladiola JORBUS, Suedi. Ai ishte fotograf me profesion, por n\u00eb thelb ishte d\u00ebshmitar i…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20199,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-gallery","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-i-pakategorizuar","post_format-post-format-gallery"],"yoast_head":"\nBiseda q\u00eb nuk mbaroi kurr\u00eb.... - Pirusti News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Nj\u00eb histori e thell\u00eb dashurie mes dy t\u00eb rriturish q\u00eb lind vet\u00ebm p\u00ebrmes mesazheve. 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